You Belong To Me
by BeautifulEscapism
Summary: What if things had gone differently during the battle at the end of City of Lost Souls? Though the battle is won thngs have changed when they return to the institute. Jace remembers nothing of the time when he was Sebatian's puppet and Clary's mind seems damaged and changed beyond repair. Sebastian may be gone but his influence is still haunting them...
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first ever fanfiction! This story is a retelling of the events from the battle at the end of City of Lost Souls onwards. Some crucial events will have changed from the books, most importantly that Jace doesn't remember anything from whenhe is Sebastian's puppet. As for the rest, all will be revealed in time so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the characters, although I really wish I had a Herondale or two...**

Clary stared, wide eyed, at the scene of devastation the Burren has become with the arrival of the nephilim. She desperately searched for Simon, Isabelle, Alec, or any familiar face but it was useless. All that could be seen was a sea of red clad Endarkened and another of Shadowhunters in black. Suddenly she felt a vice like grip on her arm. Though she already knew who it was, she turned slowly, forcing herself not to run or cry or pass out as she instinctively wanted to.

"Little sister, you know you cannot run from me." he said in a light yet somehow threatening tone. She shrank away from his words fighting back the torrent of memories that threatened to consume her. Hesitantly, she raised her bright green eyes to his cold black ones. He smirked and leaned forward with his head tilted tenderly towards her own. "No," she thought desperately, "Not again. Please please never again."

Jace appeared alongside them with his arms full of blades. Thanking the angel for Jace's timely arrival she paid little attention to the conversation he and Sebastian were having, finding that she preferred the solitude of her mind to the reality of the battle still raging around them. She was abruptly dragged back to this reality when Jace's strong, lean hands pushed her to her knees before Sebastian. Looking up at her brother she recognised the object in his hands - the infernal cup. They were going to turn her into one of the Endarkened. She couldn't let that happen. Could she? Wouldn't that mindlessness be preferable to the pain she felt now? What was there left to fight for?

The edge of the cup cut into her lip and she gasped instinctively. In that second Sebastian forced a gulp of his and Lilith's blood down her throat.

The pain was instantaneous and all-consuming but, in the few seconds before she lost herself, she saw a dark figure behind Sebastian's gleeful face. The figure raised a sword and rammed it though Sebastian's heart. He fell back - his last look of triumph still frozen on his face. The figure raised his glasses clad eyes to Clary and her last recollection before the darkness took over was of Simon breathing her name.

The pain took over. At first there was only darkness and terrible agony and finally when the darkness began to fade did she see what it had been hiding. Where before the pain had been purely physical now it was more than that. She saw things. So many things. Things that had hurt her, things she wanted to undo and some that she had hoped never to relive.

She had no idea how long it had lasted but she began to have conscious thoughts outside of her agony. She couldn't help wondering whether she was an Endarkened warrior or not. Surely it hadn't taken this long for the others to change. Sebastian's evil version of the mortal cup essentially replaced Shadowhunters' angel blood with that of the demon Lillith. Perhaps it was because she had such a high concentration of angel's blood - courtesy of Valentine and Ithuriel - that it wasn't working on her. She held onto this thought- that she would survive this or at least die without becoming a mindless drone.

The memories began to wear on her. Seeing all of your bad memories - reliving them - was hard but she could have endured this if she didn't have to keep reliving the last week, the worst of her life. The time she spent with Sebastian and the strange Jace who was not hers.

Finally the pain started to fade around the edges and she slowly dragged herself back into consciousness. When she opened her eyes she immediately recognised her surroundings. The beautifully painted ceiling, the light flooding through the windows, the feel of the comfortable bed. She was in the Institute's infirmary. She was safe. That's when she heard a voice, the one that haunted her nightmares.

Jace ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. It had been three days now since Sebastian had tried to use his mortal cup, since the bond between them had been broken and since they had all returned to New York. So why wasn't Clary awake?

When they'd gotten back, the Silent Brothers had come and they had confirmed that Sebastian had used his Infernal Cup on her. But before despair about this had set in they had also informed them that Clary was fighting it and she would survive the process as her true self. Hopefully.

He had sat by her bedside almost the whole time and it hurt him to see her hurt. She may have been unconscious but the look on her face left him in no doubt that she was in pain. Although he tried not to think about it, he couldn't help worrying that she would never wake up. He dismissed this thought. Clary was one of the strongest people he knew. She was a survivor. He wouldn't be able to live without her.

His always-alert senses heard a minute sound and he knelt by her bed instantly. Hoping against hope that she would wake up and be alright he held his breath and waited.

Her breathing changed and her eyelids fluttered then opened, showing her bright green eyes. She took in her surrounding and, overcoming his speechlessness he whispered,

"Oh Clary, I've missed you so much," Her reaction was as fast as it was unexpected. Her eyes widened in fear, her breathing hitched and, in a movement that rivalled even his speed, sprung away from the bed and back into the wall ; as far away from him as she could get. She moved into a defensive position and though she looked menacing, she could not completely disguise how much she was shaking.

Jace had no idea what to. He had never seen his brave, fearless, wonderful Clary so afraid. Raising his hands in a way he hoped would say 'I mean you no harm' he slowly walked closer to her.

As he got closer, the look of fear in her eyes increased and she trembled more than ever. She crumpled back and hugged her knees into her chest. She bowed her head and a few heartbroken sobs escaped. He took a step towards her, desperate to comfort her. She raised her head then and, in a voice that was little more than a whisper she said:

"Please, not you. Please don't come any closer. Can't you just let me be?"

Jace froze. What had happened to Clary to make her so afraid? How could he help her when the mere sight of him had panicked her so? But most of all it was the fear in her eyes when she looked at him that worried him. He had never seen her look at him like that and he couldn't bear it. Perhaps he deserved it. Perhaps he had done something unforgivable when he had been Sebastian's puppet, powerless against the pull of his master's strings.

Backing out of the room Jace felt guilty for leaving Clary alone when she seemed so terrified but he hadn't been any use so he went to find someone who would help. But who?

His first choice would have been Clary's own mother but she was still away and they had thought it would be better not to contact her until everything had settled down back to normal. He thought about calling Magnus; whose interesting fashion choices in no way negated his wisdom from the many years of his life. But recently things had changed with Magnus since he and Alec broke up. Despite this he resolved to call the warlock and ask him for help. Having quickly dialled Magnus' number he was surprised when the phone was answered immediately.

"Alec, go away and stop calling me every five minutes!" ,the voice on the other end growled.

"Err... this is Jace..." he replied awkwardly.

"Well then, stop phoning me on his behalf! You've all been doing that!"

Jace couldn't help getting angry and he replied, in a carefully calm yet menacing voice, "Right now I couldn't care less about your love life. I need your help. It's about Clary."

He explained what had happened with Clary and, having extracted a promise of help from Magnus, he abruptly hung up. For now he needed someone to talk to her and clearly she wouldn't talk to him. Sighing, he headed for Isabelle's room. Walking into the glittery mess that was her room he found her straight away and tried to explain what had happened with Clary as quickly, accurately and none-tearfully as possible.

She marched straight past him the moment he finished, heading down to the infirmary to see Clary.

She reappeared moments later but with an ashen expression on her face. Jace felt a sense of trepidation as she said in a shocked yet steady voice, "She's gone."

**Thank you for reading and please review! I would really like to find out what you think even if it's negative. I'll try to update again soon :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Firstly, I'm so sorry for the long wait for this next chapter! My computer got wiped and I lost all the chapters I had written ahead. :( Thank you for being patient with me and I really hope you enjoy this! If you do please leave a review and if you don't please please please leave a review. I really want to know your opinions, good or bad! Enjoy ;)**

_She reappeared moments later but with an ashen expression on her face. Jace felt a sense of trepidation as she said in shocked yet steady voice, "She's gone."_

The moment Jace had left the room Clary had gotten to her feet, wiped away her tears and set about escaping. It really hadn't been as difficult as she expected. Why hadn't there been any security? Had something changed from before?

Clary cast these thoughts from her head and tried to focus on the task at hand. The infirmary was on the second floor but she thought she could easily survive that distance. She inspected the window nearest to her, trying to see if it would open wide enough to allow her skin form to squeeze through. It didn't. That fact didn't trouble Clary unduly as she calmly picked up the chair next to her bed and propelled it into the window with as much force as she could muster.

The window shattered as she drove the unfortunate piece of furniture through it. The sound of a floor-to-ceiling window shattering is apt to make a lot of noise so Clary ignored her misgivings and followed the chair's example, propelling herself out of the gap.

She landed, as she had been taught to, in a crouch but swiftly straightened. Mundanes were not very observant but even they would probably notice a chair, followed by a petite red haired teenager jumping out of a second story building. Brushing the shards of glass from her clothes she walked on, trying to look as if there was nothing strange about her situation. Indeed jumping from a second story window had been one of the least exciting or unusual events in her life recently.

Escaping the Institute had been the first step but now she had to work out where to go next. She had been running on adrenaline until now but she was already beginning to feel dizzy and the pavement upon which she stood appeared to be moving. She needed help; she realised that. But where could she possibly go?

There was no question of involving her mother and Luke in thecurrent car crash that was her life. Simon was also out of the question since he was living in Jordan's apartment since his mother had kicked him out. She could think of only one other option and with this realisation she forced herself to keep walking to her new destination.

As she knocked with a shaking hand on the door it was flung open with great aplomb. The sudden movement was the last straw for her delicate state of consciousness. The last thing she saw before passing out was a pair of exceedingly sparkly cats' eyes gazing at her with confusion and concern in equal measures. Clary allowed herself to slip back into the darkness and the nightmares that accompanied it. At least in her nightmares things were understandable; terrifying, but understandable all the same.

When Clary finally floated back into consciousness she was lying in the orange room she had stayed in just before she left to join Team Evil. She couldn't help wondering, knowing what she did now would she still have gone to save Jace from Sebastian? She liked to think she would have, that her courage and love would outweigh her fear but in her heart she was less sure. Would she have simply avoided her fate and allowed them to win?

Shaking off the thoughts crowding her head she sat up in bed. She twisted her body experimentally. It didn't hurt. Magnus must have healed her while she was passed out. She felt a rush of gratitude towards the sparkly warlock. Now that she could see and think straight she had a lot to work out.

Everything had changed. That much was clear. Sebastian was dead, thank the angel! But if what she remembered was correct and Simon had killed him why was Jace still alive? "_Cutoneandtheotherbleeds." _That was what Sebastian had told her. She had seen the evidence herself. If Jace was alive then she had to assume the other was as well. But for every question she answered twenty more presented themselves. For instance, if Jace was still in thrall what was he doing in the Institute? Who had won that battle? We're her friends still alive?

Instead of just sitting there puzzling over the storm in her mind she resolved to ask Magnus. He would surely have the answers she needed.

Padding barefoot through Magnus' apartment she heard voices coming from the kitchen. Magnus seemed to be yelling at someone, she couldn't tell who. She tiptoed down the hall and tried to crane her neck around the corner but met her downfal in CHairman Meow. He rubbed against her legs affectionatel, upsetting her fragile balance and sending her crashing to the floor. Clary swore loudly. CHairman Meow appeared to smirk at her. She gave him a death glare in return and continued to walk through Magnus' apartment, although at a more normal volume. She paused outide the kitchen. She could hear and see Magnus talking angrily into his phone.

"-then I get a call from you saying there's something wrong with Clary and the next thing I know she turns up on my doorstep and promptly passes out before she can tell me anything!" He broke off for a second as the person on the other end of the phone askeda question. He replied in frustration, "Of course she didn't mention you Jace - she's unconscious!" there was another pause. Finally Magnus said, "Yes, yes see you in a minute," and hung up the phone.

At this point Clary thought she probably ought to make her prescence known. She cleared her throat quietly and Magnus spun round to face her at the sound. He looked surprised to see her awake already. The redhead just gazed back at him helplessly. "I'm sorry to intrude" she explained, "but I just didn't know where else to go." Magnus' expression changed to one of compassion and mild outrage.

"You are in no way intruding," he began, "but Clary, please tell me what's happened." Without warning the sparkly warlock covered the distance between them and swept her into a hug. She went rigid, shocked by his sudden proximity, and whispered a word before she pushed him away. Just one word. One word that was the cause of all that had happened, all that was wrong in her life.

"Sebastian."

**So I was aiming for dramatic with this last bit but I think it just came out as needlessly long. Sorry for the short chapter, I'll try to make the next one longer.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


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